The Fiery Quill

I must be getting more cynical in my old age...recently I have been having a problem with Christmas. Oddly enough, it's not the commercialization that bothers me...I mean, heck! According to scholars, we don't even celebrate the right day for Jesus'birthday, so what does it really matter if we start putting out Christmas decorations in October? Technically it should be in March anyway. I have no problem believing in a higher power: be that God, Allah, Budda, or the great power within. And I believe that Jesus must have been a truly amazing and inspiring man. It is clear what kind of affect this lowly son of a carpenter had on many. He died 2000 years ago and people still speak His name with respect and reverence. It's the actually story of Christmas that I have trouble with...if we ar not even sure what day these event occurred on, then how could we possibly know what happend? I suspect, for most Christians, this is where faith comes in. That believing it happened is en...

A week ago, I was crazy enough (or motivated!) to participate in my first half marathon. I am proud to say that I conquered the 13.1 mile monster. And I did it in a very respectable 2 hours, 25 minutes and 17 seconds. I couldn't believe how good I felt and how much adrenaline can make up for not really believing that I could make it past 7 miles (the most I had ever run at one time). I just kept seeing the mile markers go by in the fog: 7,9,11, 13, until I found myself at the finish line. And I might add, with enough energy to SPRINT across said finish line!! I am very proud of myself for running this massive race...and the sick thing is that I would do it all over again. Adrenaline IS addictive, you know. This is my idea of an extreme sport. Vamos !!

I ask you....is there really a difference between one brand of bottled water and another? Or is there even a difference between what you get off that shelf at your local grocery store and what comes out of your tap? I am not convinced of this alleged difference. Now don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that one can taste the difference between water out of different sinks or fountains. For example, the water out of my tap at home actually tastes pretty good (especially considering it is Weaverville city water)...but you will not catch me drinking the water out of the fountain at the gym. Let's just say it has a distinct metallic bouquet to it (not to mention the unsettling thought of all those meatheads' sweaty upper lips coming in close contact to said fountain...but I digress). And I do not believe that there is really much of a difference between a name brand and a store brand. They both taste fine to me (and believe me, I've tried alot of different kinds). I recall ...

I don't know what it is about ex-boyfriends, specifically ones I have broken up with....they seem to think that if they wait a few weeks, or a month or so, that I will have changed my mind and just desperately want them back. Riiiiiight. What part of "I'm not in love with you anymore" do you not understand. It just reinforces the reason why I broke up with him in the first place! I mean, he clearly doesn't respect me and my decision enough to take either seriously...or he wouldn't be attempting to second guess me. EARTH TO EX: WE ARE NOT A COUPLE AND WE WON"T EVER BE AGAIN. That clear enough, you think? I have no desire to be with a fanatic sports-loving, no goal-making, content to rot in job because you are too set in your ways to get another one, not liking me going out with my friends (whatever), Playboy subscription-having at the age of the 36, stuck in the 80's music playing, clothes-shopping at second-hand stores, computer and cellphone/technolo...

I am a fool. Again. I can't believe Rob had me convinced that he really did have feelings for me after all this time. What a naive idiot I have been. After all that romantic bullshit he fed me over the last month...all the promises. What a waste of my time and energy. I don't know if he actually meant it or not. Because now he says that, after our visit last weekend, "and then from my end the spark, while still there, was much smaller than I had anticipated or expected." I've got one word for this....ouch. I've never been enough for this guy, and I never will be. Or maybe I'm too much. Either way, my heart is broken. And the sad thing is, this is not the first time I've let him him do this. I should have known better. I really should have. It's ok that I am single, I can handle that. What is hard for me to handle is being rejected so completely. Am I that bad? I think not! For crying out loud, I may not be the smartest or presttiest or best...but I...

Last week I got a postcard from Hong Kong. It has pandas playing on the front..it does not surprise me that this particular friend would remember they are my favorite animal. 6 years ago, I had a housemate when I lived near London for a semester in college. She has got to be one of the most fascinating people I know. Her parents are Chinese, but left Hong Kong before she was born, and immigrated to Holland. My friend speaks Dutch, 2 dialects of Chinese, English, German and some French. She would crack me up when I'd hear her on the phone speaking softly in Dutch with her sister, and then switch to a very loud and forceful Chinese with her mother.The first time I heard her do this, I asked if everything was ok...had she had a fight with her mother? Oh, no, she said, we were just talking about some recipes she was trying out. I haven't seen her or spoken with her on the phone since we parted ways on a cold night in December in 1999. But we have faithfully kept in touch through e-...

Where do I begin? I hadn't planned on breaking up with my boyfriend yesterday, but I did. It all comes back to be not being ready to commit to him. Not with the apartment, the relationship, or the engagement. It sounds strange, but the reason I didn't break up with him earlier is because I loved his family so much. They are wonderful people....who will probably hate me now, but at least I had the pleasure of knowing them when I did. And I really thought I wanted to get married..to my boyfriend. But I don't. And there was no way I was going to stay with him and hope he would one day be like his family. The worst part is hurting him. I wish I didn't have to, but in the long run, it is the best decision. It would hurt alot more to get married and realize then that we never should have, and then get divorced. Or realize the night before the wedding that there is no way I could go through with it!! We are just not the perfect combination. There is someone else out there for...

I just have to tell everyine that my brother is the coolest person on the face of this earth! If I had the coolness he has in his pinky finger, I would be all set. By cool I mean that my brother has serious style and is always the nicest dresser in the room. Not to mention the nicest guy in the room! My brother is also cool because he takes such good care of me, believes in me even when there's not much to believe in, loves me at my most unlovable, and stands by me no matter what. He saved me from being burnt by our crazy next door neighbor(I was 3), rescued me from the mean babysitter who laughed when I fell off a chair and hit my head (I was 4), and let me play with his Legos. I have learned so much from him and aspire to be like him. He is always willing to help me and offer advice, no matter what the topic. He's the one who created this blog for me! The other reason(s) why my brother deserves to have this blog dedicated to him, is because he is such a good person. He treats...

You know, I was completely in love with this young man we'll call Rob. For 3 solid years (and then some), he was the only one for me...even when I wasn't the only one for him. Even though we both dated other people and were officially boyfriend/girlfriend for only about 6 months...I always just knew that it was a matter of time when he would realize that I was the woman of his dreams. But alas, life intervened and it never happened. The reason I broke up with him the first time, was because he did not feel the same for me as I did about him. He couldn't tell me he loved me, because he didn't feel that way. Breaking up was one of the most painful things I have ever done. But it was choice I had to make. We remained friends throughout....although there were times we didn't see each other or speak to each other for a month or so. We always came together at some point. Then about a year or so later, we started seeing each other again. It was so wonderful and I thought m...

Ok.....For those of you have been following the drama, it turns out that we did find another, better apartment than the one we got scheisted out of. So things eventually work out, right?! We can start moving on Feb 21st (just great that it happens to be a Monday....real useful!), and I have already started packing this past weekend. Dum da dum dum....now starts the dreaded task of throwing things out and packing the appropriate items into their neatly labeled boxes (argggghhh). This is a milestone for me...this will be the first man I've ever lived with in a boyfriend capacity. I have many questions about how this is going to work. Such as: Will he ruin my sleep pattern when he comes in late at night from work? Which way does he prefer the toilet paper to hang? Does he squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or the end? And most importantly, will the answers to these questions annoy me? I've got one thing to say about this living situation: thank God for the second bathro...

I just have to complain about this because it has been on my mind over the last day...As you may know from one of my previous posts, my boyfriend and I were in the process of looking for a house to buy. However, we decided that due to lack of funds, we were going to scrap that idea and look into renting an apartment until we do have the money. I digress....so we had gone to see an apartment I found in the classifieds, thought it sounded nice, and wanted to take a look at the inside. The onlt thing that wasn't nice about it was the hefty $1800 deposit plus rent involved. She came down on the total amount to $1500 just to get us in there. To make a long story short....the landlord references had checked out, the lease had been written up and signed, all of this as of yesterday at lunchtime. Last night, at about 5:30, the same lady called to tell me that there had been some miscommunication between her and her brother (who was helping her rent the place because she was leaving the ...

It's funny how a building can really make an adult out of you. I am referring specifically to a house...buying a house. My boyfriend and I are in the very early stages of purchasing a home together. I've got one word for you, Ahhhhhhhh! It is an entirely overwhelming process: getting a loan is bad enough, then couple that with a VERY limited budget, looking for the best neighborhood, most convenient location, washer/dryer hookup, yard and white picket fence all rolled into one. But it is also a very exciting time, I must admit! It is strange and wonderful to look at a house and see your future in front of you. I see countless meals prepared together, yard/housework, being carried over the threshold, I even see painting a nursery and trying to put a crib together. Everything seems to be happening very fast and furiously all of a sudden... Buying a house feels like the ultimate rite of passage. A stamp that finally says, "You are a grown up!" Yay. Now what? Yikes....