Unrequited Love?

You know, I was completely in love with this young man we'll call Rob. For 3 solid years (and then some), he was the only one for me...even when I wasn't the only one for him. Even though we both dated other people and were officially boyfriend/girlfriend for only about 6 months...I always just knew that it was a matter of time when he would realize that I was the woman of his dreams. But alas, life intervened and it never happened. The reason I broke up with him the first time, was because he did not feel the same for me as I did about him. He couldn't tell me he loved me, because he didn't feel that way. Breaking up was one of the most painful things I have ever done. But it was choice I had to make.

We remained friends throughout....although there were times we didn't see each other or speak to each other for a month or so. We always came together at some point. Then about a year or so later, we started seeing each other again. It was so wonderful and I thought my dream was finally coming true! Wrong. He still couldn't take an emotional risk to be with me...he said it was because there were too many uncertainties. If it was meant to be, it would happen. So I get my heart broken again. Maybe it was my fault, maybe not...who knows.

Then I moved home to start a new life. I was more or less getting the cold shoulder in the romantic department from him.....so I finally gave up. If I had gotten any indication that he still had feelings for me, I would have waited for him for eternity. But I didn't. I ended up meeting someone new not too much later and moved on with my life. I ended up falling in love with this guy and being very happy with him. As you may know if you have been following my blog....my boyfriend and I are moving in together next week after being a couple for almost 11 months. Not to mention we picked out an engagement ring, and have all but completely planned the wedding.

2/14/05...Enter Rob(again). He writes me an e-mail basically telling me he's in love with me and that I am the only woman for him after he's had a year to think and get settled. Great!! The only other man I have ever loved in my life is finally telling me he loves me and I can't be with him. Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and I have no reservations about marrying him and spending the next 50 years with him.....but it's just one big what if for me. Timing is, unfortunately, everything.

So for those of you who are afraid to commit your heart to someone who loves you.....put aside your fear and risk it all!! Because trust me, it will only cause regret and sadness if you don't. What are you waiting for? Chances are, if you think they are so wonderful, someone else will too and snap them up if you make the mistake of waiting until the time is right for you! Either love them or let them go.... and don't bother them again, You will surely break their heart! I am an example of that. In the end, I wish that Rob had had someone like me to tell him to get off his butt and break all the rules! It's not worth it to be cautious...regret is a bitter thing.