03 March 2009

With Kid Gloves

I had a lesson in the use of kid gloves today. Or rather, the lack of them. I choose not to include the subject matter or the person in question, because it is not required to make my point.

I remember being a little girl and my mother saying to me, "You catch more flies with honey." Not to be punny, but that saying has always stuck with me. I don't claim to always use this sage advice in my dealings with people, but I do keep it in the forefront of my mind. My translation of this quaint adage is:if you are sweet in your treatment of another, they are more likely to do as you ask. This point of view came into stark contrast this afternoon, when I had someone treat me (and others) in the exact opposite manner: bullying, threatening, demanding. The ferocity with which this speech was delivered made me have an almost out-of-body experience. Part of me was horrified, the other part was fascinated, simply because I was amazed that a person could think such delivery would get the desired results.

I am not pretending that the sweet approach is easy. It requires a calm and level of patience that is not often my hallmark. But when I saw the hurt and resentment in the eyes of my friends today; felt the anger bubbling up in me; it helped me to see how benevolent the kinder alternative is to both the giver and the receiver. The fly-catching method minimizes stress levels and allows for better communication between parties.

So the next time I want someone to help me in some way, I would do well to remember the use of a simple "please." And this delivered with a smile would not hurt either.
Thanks, Mom.

Mother Doing Good

Self Magazine has an award contest called Women Doing Good. It honors women who give their time and talents to charitable organizations. I k...