I am a fool. Again. I can't believe Rob had me convinced that he really did have feelings for me after all this time. What a naive idiot I have been. After all that romantic bullshit he fed me over the last month...all the promises. What a waste of my time and energy. I don't know if he actually meant it or not. Because now he says that, after our visit last weekend, "and then from my end the spark, while still there, was much smaller than I had anticipated or expected." I've got one word for this....ouch. I've never been enough for this guy, and I never will be. Or maybe I'm too much. Either way, my heart is broken. And the sad thing is, this is not the first time I've let him him do this. I should have known better. I really should have.
It's ok that I am single, I can handle that. What is hard for me to handle is being rejected so completely. Am I that bad? I think not! For crying out loud, I may not be the smartest or presttiest or best...but I am me. And that should be enough. I shouldn't have to feel bad about it and it really pisses me off that this emotionally challenged jack ass is making me feel anything even close to that. Basically the only reason I entertained the thought of being with him again, was because he barged into my life again with all these confessions and promises. And once again he's running scared. He either really feels nothing for me or he's just too afraid. My life is too short to wait for him to make up his mind. I'm not making this mistake again with him. He is on his own. I want to friends with him, but I don't think I can talk to him for quite a while. I'm too angry and too hurt...I might be a little too honest with him right now. It' not going to help anything to be mean to him.....even if he might deserve.
I am just hollow now.
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