Boy-Friend

In an age where everything is seemingly driven by sex, true male-female friendships reach mythical proportions. It appears that I am one of the few who has captured this elusive phoenix of a relationship.

Matthew and I have been best friends for the better part of a decade. Our friendship began with a chance meeting in a coffee shop during that carefree summer of 1999. Despite distance and time, the closeness we have has never wavered. We have seen each other through an array of failed romances, disappointments and unthinkable heartache. I can comfortably speak for both of us, when I say that Matthew and I can talk about anything. This fact, coupled with our loyalty, ensures that we will be friends for the rest of our lives.

This remarkable friendship has become a testing point for new romances. We have deduced that, if a future (or current) partner can accept our platonic union and befriend the other one...then they are a worthy lover. And in every case, this has been a valid litmus test.

Many individuals, especially men, have said that sex always gets in the way of an opposite sex friendship. This is the exact point-of-view that prevents more men and women from having exceptional friendships. This is about choice, like any other important matter in life. People choose their friends and how they relate to them. I realize that people do not choose to have chemistry, however. This is one area that will always remain grey, concerning this type of relationship. But some of the best marriages I know evolved from a friendship first.

After 10 years with a male best friend, I feel I can dispense advice on this matter. Do not discount a friendship with a man or woman, simply because you do not share a chromosome pattern. Do not assume that this relationship will not work. Think of a food you were sure you wouldn't like...until you tried it. Now it is your favorite, and you can't imagine life without it.

PS. As an addendum to this post, I want to thank Matthew's wonderful girlfriend, Megan. Your strong self-confidence and good heart have allowed my friendship with Matthew to continue, as well as grow stronger. I am very lucky to be able to also call you a good...and even, best, friend. I look forward to the many years of friendship that lie ahead.