With Kid Gloves

I had a lesson in the use of kid gloves today. Or rather, the lack of them. I choose not to include the subject matter or the person in question, because it is not required to make my point.

I remember being a little girl and my mother saying to me, "You catch more flies with honey." Not to be punny, but that saying has always stuck with me. I don't claim to always use this sage advice in my dealings with people, but I do keep it in the forefront of my mind. My translation of this quaint adage is:if you are sweet in your treatment of another, they are more likely to do as you ask. This point of view came into stark contrast this afternoon, when I had someone treat me (and others) in the exact opposite manner: bullying, threatening, demanding. The ferocity with which this speech was delivered made me have an almost out-of-body experience. Part of me was horrified, the other part was fascinated, simply because I was amazed that a person could think such delivery would get the desired results.

I am not pretending that the sweet approach is easy. It requires a calm and level of patience that is not often my hallmark. But when I saw the hurt and resentment in the eyes of my friends today; felt the anger bubbling up in me; it helped me to see how benevolent the kinder alternative is to both the giver and the receiver. The fly-catching method minimizes stress levels and allows for better communication between parties.

So the next time I want someone to help me in some way, I would do well to remember the use of a simple "please." And this delivered with a smile would not hurt either.
Thanks, Mom.