The Fiery Quill

I walk through the last days and weeks of being 29. The closer 30 gets, the more I wonder what that transition means to me...as a woman, as a person who feels far removed from being a grown-up sometimes. I ponder what I have done with my life up to this point. I wonder why 30 is such a precipice of existence, especially for females...chased by expectations of marriage, career, age-appropriate clothes, successful careers, children... Who decided that 30 was the be-all end-all? I am more proud of the mountains I have climbed in the last ten years, the valleys I have crawled out of; then turning another obscure year older. I am happy to be alive, to have a strong and proud family, faithful friends I am honored to call "friend." I have my health, my sight, everything works the way it's supposed to. There are things I do very well, things I am learning to do better, and things I simply admire in other people. There are times I wonder how I got this far in life, and I am truly ...

I have a habit of wearing scarves on my head. Sometimes the scarf is black, sometimes striped with fringe. It is not because I am Muslim, a cancer victim, going bald in any way...nor am I making light of any person who falls under the former categories. I am simply a girl who likes to wrap my head in a scarf. One of my genetic gifts happens to be an excess of dark, curly hair with a mind of its own at times. When this hair of mine refuses to be tamed, I rely on a small box full of lovely scarves. I do not mean for this decoration to represent any personal choice or battle I am fighting. It is simply a symbol of me. On two distinct occasions, I have been ridiculed for wearing these harmless scarves. In the first instance, I was told I could not wear a scarf on my head while at work. An explanation was never offered as to why this action was necessary. There was no dress code in place that would have forbade the wearing of this particular accessory. I leave you, dear reader, to come up w...

I am not perfect: I am too sensitive, I have too many lines on my hands (a fortune-teller's dream, I have been told), I am kind of a prude, my hair never does what its told, one foot is bigger than the other, my skin is temperamental at best, I cry at Hallmark commercials, I wear my heart on my sleeve (damn the consequences), I have a jagged scar on my upper right thigh, I fear worms and being left behind, I was a nightmare at 13; (sorry Mom) and not much better at 23 (forgive me, Mom?), I can be insecure about my looks, I compare myself to other people too much, I procrastinate, I never get enough sleep, one side of my tummy is rounder than the other, I love Legally Blonde, I'd rather read a mystery novel than something "serious," I am too affected by too many rainy days, I feel too sorry for myself when I am sick, I fall in love too hard, I complain too much about not having my ideal job, I would rather lounge than exercise, I would rather complain than do something...